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Sep 28, 2012
09/12
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KNTV
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applause ] i am your host, jimmy fallon and i'm sad to announce i will no longer be officiating tonight's browns/ravens game. sorry. [ laughter ] that's right. the strike is over. the nfl referees have signed an eight-year contract, which means no more replacement refs. [ cheers and applause ] you know, those guys made a lot of bad calls. but not all of them were bad. in fact, let's take a look back at all the calls the nfl replacement refs actually got right. >> false start. >> jimmy: there you go. [ laughter ] >> that was a very good call. >> jimmy: nice job. very good job. >> that's a very good call. >> jimmy: this is crazy. turns out that one of the replacement refs on monday night, works as vice president at a bank of america branch. [ light laughter ] so in other words, he's leaving a job where football fans hated him and going back to one where everyone hates him. [ laughter ] there's going to be a hating fee. we charge 3% if you want to hate me. so -- here's a campaign update. during a speech yesterday, president obama accidentally said he wants to export more jobs. then he corrected him
applause ] i am your host, jimmy fallon and i'm sad to announce i will no longer be officiating tonight's browns/ravens game. sorry. [ laughter ] that's right. the strike is over. the nfl referees have signed an eight-year contract, which means no more replacement refs. [ cheers and applause ] you know, those guys made a lot of bad calls. but not all of them were bad. in fact, let's take a look back at all the calls the nfl replacement refs actually got right. >> false start. >>...
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228
Sep 27, 2012
09/12
by
WRC
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brown says he wants them? is that what he said? when i first moved here, my thought was like 50%, let's keep it low, 50% of the cars. i don't care what happens to my car. seriously, and i -- it just, you know, you're like oh, you don't care if you hit me. oh, my god. they don't care. not everybody. craig: 50%. >> one in two drivers in l.a. don't care. craig: half. half. >> well. craig: well, that's all i got. we're out of time. do you want some fruit? >> oh, my god. yeah, sure. is it organic? craig: we have a lot of produce. that's passion fruit. >> it is. craig: this is a fresh jicama. >> i used to work in a grocery store. craig: let's play name that vegetable. start off easy. >> apple. craig: this? >> jicami. >> is an ugly fruit? no. a testicle? it is a chanoya. star fruit? craig: that's not a star fruit. a keanu. you know, keanu reeves. that's stupid. he is on the show this week. >> is he? craig: it is like his first time on the show. i've been trying to get him for years. >> he would be thrilled. craig: if he comes out and i go
brown says he wants them? is that what he said? when i first moved here, my thought was like 50%, let's keep it low, 50% of the cars. i don't care what happens to my car. seriously, and i -- it just, you know, you're like oh, you don't care if you hit me. oh, my god. they don't care. not everybody. craig: 50%. >> one in two drivers in l.a. don't care. craig: half. half. >> well. craig: well, that's all i got. we're out of time. do you want some fruit? >> oh, my god. yeah,...
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Sep 28, 2012
09/12
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WRC
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he also said he's really sorry about the cleveland browns. i'm like, i know. [laughter] i look forward to your angry hate mail opposed to the usual cheerful hate mail i usually get. dear crying, i hate your [beep] ass. so the integrity of the game has been restored. from now on, you want to turn on the tv to see someone with no clue how to do his job, watch this show. over the past month, several nfl hall of famers blasted the league for damaging the sport. one player said he'd never seen such a blatant injustice. that player was o.j. simpson. [laughter] that was like a joke there. that was like a joke. i set it up and boom, o.j. simpson. it was the mid to late 19's and it was a late night show. geoff: bless your melty heart. craig: bless your no heart. geoff: i'll see you in court. craig: what court are we talking about? geoff: you know, man. craig: anyway, there were even protests outside nfl headquarters in new york. the president of iran was in town, mahmoud ahmadinejad. [laughter] what's his name? he noticed protests on his way to the u.n. to start world
he also said he's really sorry about the cleveland browns. i'm like, i know. [laughter] i look forward to your angry hate mail opposed to the usual cheerful hate mail i usually get. dear crying, i hate your [beep] ass. so the integrity of the game has been restored. from now on, you want to turn on the tv to see someone with no clue how to do his job, watch this show. over the past month, several nfl hall of famers blasted the league for damaging the sport. one player said he'd never seen such...
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169
Sep 29, 2012
09/12
by
WRC
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. ♪ he's got blonde hire a black mustache a brown beard but he is ginger down below me boys, ginger down below ♪ apparently so is secretariat. [laughter] are you checking? [laughter] here in l.a., everyone is in panic mode! oh! it's carmageddon this weekend! [psycho music] no one gives a rat's ass. for those of you who don't live here -- first, congratulations. "carmageddon" is what the local media are calling this weekend. one of our main freeways is being shut down for a few days. yes! carpal gettin' ! [psycho music] the result is a phenomenon called "really bad traffic." so we're all being advised to stay home and not drive. the entire population of l.a. is being treated like amanda bynes. [laughter] i got to drive. i have to drive this weekend. if i can't drive, i have to walk to my weekend job. i hate that. i don't want to walk five miles in stripper heels. the goldfish will die. [laughter] the freeway that's closing is 405, the main freeway of the city. it's getting "some work done." sooner or later, everyone in l.a. takes time off to "get some work done." just diet and exercise.
. ♪ he's got blonde hire a black mustache a brown beard but he is ginger down below me boys, ginger down below ♪ apparently so is secretariat. [laughter] are you checking? [laughter] here in l.a., everyone is in panic mode! oh! it's carmageddon this weekend! [psycho music] no one gives a rat's ass. for those of you who don't live here -- first, congratulations. "carmageddon" is what the local media are calling this weekend. one of our main freeways is being shut down for a few...